Red Flag Warning Signs
There is no one sign that is by itself an indicator of identifying an abuser. Often it is the combination of many things that reveals the severity. There are however many red flags signals that you should educate yourself about, and avoid anybody who demonstrates them.
Red flags and warning signs of an abuser include but are not limited to:
- Jealous of others or your relationship with others, including family members
- Possessive of you and who you talk to, what you wear and what you do
- Unpredictable or shifting moods
- Destruction of property like cell phone or things that are important to you
- Drawing you away from your own family or restricting communication and visits
- Causing you fear for your safety if you do not abide by “the rules”
- Threats of suicide if you leave them
- Controls all the finances
- Abuse of other family members, children or pets
- Threats of harming you or your children or family if you leave them
- Abuses drugs or alcohol
- Makes you let them see your cell and have access to all passwords on it and on computer
- Spies on your activities, calls your friends to ask them questions about you or what you’re doing
- Makes you do or try things that you do not want to do
- Bad temper that can go off at any time for even the smallest of issues
- Accusations of the victim flirting with others or having an affair
- Demeaning the victim either privately or publicly
- Cruelty to animals
- Verbal abuse which is used to belittle you, hurt your feelings, break your confidence
- Extremely controlling about every little thing
- Forced sex or disregard of their partner's unwillingness to have sex
- Does not use birth control or prohibits you from doing so
- Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens
- Causing the victim stress at work or school, or to lose their job
- Embarrassment or humiliation of the victim in front of others
AND OF COURSE any physical violence is no longer a red flag! It is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and you need no other sign to confirm.